I can’t exactly say when it was I decided I wanted to be a stay at home mom but let’s just say it’s been a while. It wasn’t something I wanted to admit. I was always told I could be anything I wanted but a stay at home mom didn’t seem like one of those options. It’s not something you can plan on until you have a partner who is on board with being the sole provider and children are usually part of the requirements too.
Although I was never fully certain that this is where my life would lead me, I feel like I’ve been preparing for this job all my life. For me, it’s not just the path of least resistance. In addition to child rearing and the obvious joys of closely being around to help my babies grow, I enjoy the domestic life of making a home. I enjoy having a meal for my husband to come home to. I enjoy having his clothes ironed and ready for the next day. I shouldn’t be ashamed of that or worried that I’m going to go crazy or waste away into Idleness. I’ll never be idle. It’s not my way.
Sometimes I tell people I’m staying home because of the high cost of child care. While that is true, it’s not the main reason I’ve chose to stay home. Why can’t I just say I want to be a homemaker?
Is it because it’s not deemed as valuable work or that I fear I’m not contributing to society? With all the pressures to “lean in” and stride forward, sometimes it feels like I’m not doing my part. But I know my husband and I are working as a team and my work done here IS valuable. I can be fulfilled staying at home and that is what I’m choosing to do.
I have talents that would be useful outside the home and I’m not saying I won’t ever work again. Once the babies are a little older it would be nice to find some kind of part time gig or perhaps a work from home arrangement, maybe even sooner than later but it’s hard to see myself working full time, out of the home anytime soon.
I want to do what’s best for my children but I would be lying if this were the only reason I’ll be staying home. It’s also what’s best for me and best for Nate too. We’re a bit old fashioned in that we’ve slipped into traditional gender roles but that doesn’t mean we’re not equal. Nate isn’t a chauvinist pig that comes home and sits in front of the television while I serve him. He has roles and expectations too.
I’m happy to be living in a time where I have choices and even more grateful that staying home is an option. Being a stay at home mom or homemaker isn’t for everyone but I think it is for me.