From the moment I found I was pregnant, I was in love. When we discovered we were having twins my love was doubled. And when we learned their genders, we put names to our little peanuts and the love grew even more. When the doctor passed our first baby up to me and I saw my child’s face I was in shock. We have it captured in a photo, thanks to my sister. Those first few weeks, I couldn’t take my eyes off of them. I loved them so much. I really did. But it seems different now. I really, really love them now. Not that I didn’t love them then, it just feels different now, deeper and stronger.
The first few months with two babies was fun, but only fun in that we knew we were walking, or rather jumping, into a whole new world and I finally got to meet these precious little ones I had waited for, for so long. But in all honesty, it wasn’t fun in the traditional sense of the word. This is something I don’t know if I realized or perhaps wanted to admit at the time. We were exhausted and going through the motions. I was scared. Although looking back, I think I did just fine, at the time I felt I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.
But over the course of a few short months, I can say that has changed. Although I’m still learning, I feel more confident. I can read our babies cues, figure out what they need and now I can say it really is fun.
Of course they still would rather be in someone’s arms but I can actually put them down for short periods of time and they actually play and seem to enjoy themselves! We interact, read books, sing songs and act silly and goofy together.
There are still times when I feel helpless and maxed out. But not like, or nearly as often as I did in those early days. It really has gotten easier, just like they all said it would.
They are still sleeping with me at night and although it’s not the most ideal sleeping situation, it sure beats getting up out of bed multiple times a night. It’s all going so fast for me and I’ve come to love our time snuggling and nursing around the clock and through the night.
I see the love in Nate’s eyes and I feel it in every ounce of my body. It makes me feel like the richest person alive. Those first few months were hard, really hard but we made it. We still have our host of challenges up ahead but armed with this ever increasing mountain of love I have no doubt the fun has only just begun.