For the last year, my life’s focus has been taking care of these two little ones. During this time, my own self care has gone out the window. Sure I manage to eat well and make time for myself to exercise but I’m talking about the superficial kind of self care. The kind that makes a person feel like they didn’t just come out of captivity with a pack of wolves. This is where I’m failing. My nails a…re unkept, my hair is way overdue for a trim and worst of all, my wardrobe needs a major overhaul. But alas, as I’m sure most mothers do, I’ve been putting my babies first, especially when it comes to clothing.
Karson and Lucy are almost always dressed better than me. They are way easier to shop for than myself and a lot more fun. Since they don’t need to try something on to see if it looks good, I can buy their clothes online in the comfort of my yoga pants and breast milk stained shirts. And it doesn’t matter if a pair of pants makes their butt look big. You can blame it on the diaper. Not so much with me. And so, my own wardrobe remains neglected.
I give myself plenty of excuses for my disarray. Aside from the fact that I refuse to buy clothes until I lose a few more of these baby weight pounds, I also don’t really know how to dress in this new phase of my life.
There’s a reason moms are notorious for wearing yoga pants. I’ve never been so active in my life. Bending over, squatting, heaving over 40 pounds up and down the stairs, running back and forth down the hall, sitting on the floor, wrestling poopy diapers off a wriggly baby, dodging spoonfuls of yogurt, this is what my day is made up of. I don’t know what would be more appropriate, yoga pants or a hazmat suit.
All I know is if I put on workout clothes in the morning, I have a much better chance I’ll get my official workout in when the babies go down for a nap. That seems like a logical excuse for not really getting dressed and it’s not like I’m sitting in my pajamas or bathrobe all day. But let’s face it. I’m not a yoga or aerobics instructor and as comfy as they are, I can’t wear yoga pants every day. At least not out in public.
Last year around this time I was freshly post-partum and definitely not excited about buying new clothes. The year before I was mostly in maternity clothes. So it’s definitely been a while since my wardrobe has had a good update.
But shopping for clothes with two one year olds? Forget it. I recently saw that Target is going to start offering wine for patrons to drink as they shop. That sounds wonderful but If you really want to get more women in the store, offer a babysitting service instead.
I know buying new clothes every season isn’t a top priority and in all reality, I probably already have more clothes than I need. But I also think how we dress and present ourselves can really influence how we feel about ourselves. And in this challenging period of transition and inevitable change, I think self care is an important piece of the puzzle that should be established sooner than later. I don’t need a shopping spree at Nordstroms. But I also don’t need to feel like I’m depriving Karson and Lucy if I buy something for myself.
What I probably need is to back off on the spending of coordinating sets for Karson and Lucy and let myself in on the fun every once in a while. I need someone to tell me they don’t always have to match.
But who am I kidding. They’re not going to let me dress them for long and look how cute they are. Maybe my wardrobe can wait just one more season and besides, these yoga pants really are pretty comfy.